


Ambivalence

by realiankun



Category: Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Genre: M/M, Psychological, Trauma, draft really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2525504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realiankun/pseuds/realiankun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a while, there were few things that connected them. After that tragic day, Fayt realized just how much he had disregarded all of their similarities, because they were painfully obvious now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ambivalence

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know if this site has a standard for completely polished fics bc mine are definitely not in any way final drafts but they are nonetheless ideas i have had and me basically just fleshing out the characters more in my own way and if that aint fic then i dont know what is
> 
> takes place in an actual part of the game that is pretty spoilery and awful  
> i'm bad at this
> 
> most of my stuff is written absent mindedly when im trying to pass time so i cant take any of this seriously

* * *

 

Why are you here? Why are you still following these worms around. You shouldn't let them see you, they should not be a part of your life anymore. One of them, however...

 

" I'm coming with you worms."

At Albel's response, Fayt was surprised; Since Albel was from an underveloped planet, he wasn't sure if Albel knew what he was getting himself into.

"What?"

"That's right, you heard me. Now how is this thing going to get us to where we need it to?"

 Fayt sat there, not aware of the way Albel was examining his expression with little concern. He wasn't the type to care about other's suffering, but somehow he couldn't keep his eyes away from the boy's sad but un-fittingly empty expression. 

"You don't want to stay on your home planet?"

"Tch," Albel responded with disdain, looking away. "There's nothing left for me here that I wish to stay for."

That thought resonated with Fayt and the thought clicked in his head. Albel... actually wants to stay. He will continue to be a part of his life. 

Albel was leaning against the wall next to the door that was programmed to stay open for the time being. After a while he  grew frustrated with his own thoughts and decided to just talk to Fayt about what was wrong with him.

"Hey."

Fayt's eyes wandered over to the voice that beckoned him but never acknowledged the owner. "Wh-...Wha"

Albel chuckled with the same disdain in his voice. "Did you forget about me already?"

"What? No..." Fayt realized he was still in the same room and stood up quickly. " I... I need to get out of here."

Albel watched as the boy walked out the door, not saying a word. Now he was the only one left. The room became silent. More silent than it was before with the two of them in it.

The hallway was brighter than he anticipated. Albel began to feel dizzy. He cared no longer for the feelings that haunted him at this moment, so he made his way for his room immediately. He didn't care what would happen to him along the way, he just wanted to get to a place where he knew he would feel alone.

But he wasn't going to be alone. The door opened and inside were two beds parallel to each other, and one of them was occupied. He hadn't expected anyone to be in here. So when he saw Fayt lying on his bed, he got defensive. "What are you doing here, fool?"

Fayt looked up, a glaze over his eyes. "I sleep here." He didn't seem like himself.

He had forgotten. There were only so many bedrooms on the Diplo and everyone sort of decided that they didn't want to be the one who had to sleep in the same room as Albel. Everyone except Fayt. He hadn't declined, or spoken up in that conversation, so he was Albel's roommate from then on.

"Hmph." Albel made a grumpy noise and realized that he didn't normally see Fayt awake at the same time as he was. Very late in the night, he was fast asleep while Albel stayed wide awake. And when he did finally fall asleep, it was in the morning, and so he slept till late afternoon, when everyone was already awake by then.

"Wait... that's my bed," Albel pointed out, giving Fayt a mean glare. "Why are you laying in my bed, fool? Get up."

Fayt rolled over and stared at him with bored eyes. He didn't say anything right away, but his eyes were talking for him. The events that played out just hours ago had affected him and it was making him into a person he had never been before.

"What's wrong with you? I said get up."

Still no response. Albel was getting angry. He was still frenzied from everything in his head, those thoughts continued, but scattered; now he was just frustrated that Fayt was being unresponsive and was claiming something that was his.

Unable to contain himself, Albel grabbed Fayt's arm and pulled him upward. Surprisingly Fayt didn't resist, his body floated up quite easily, but he was still in a trance.

"Hey," he growled, his hand wrapped tightly around Fayt's wrist. "You aren't going to drag everybody down now, are you?"

Something inside him woke up with those words. The last thing Fayt ever wanted was to be considered a burden. All he wanted was to help the people he loved.

"So, you want to be a burden to everyone?"

"No..." Fayt couldn't understand what was happening anymore... but something had been bothering him. "Albel..."

Albel stared at him, still quite angry. He knew this feeling-- although at the time of his trauma was a bit more anguished since he was younger-- Albel caught himself repeating thoughts he had in his own head at one time.

"No, I just... Albel..." Fayt felt his chest welling up strongly. "I wanted to know... how you can even stand living," Fayt said emotionally but he seemed paralyzed from head to toe. "How do you keep living after what happened to you?"  
  
Albel felt disgusted. He let go of Fayt's arm, taking a step back. "Tch..." Those memories forced their way back into his head. He only thought about those things everyday, but each time they came into his head it felt just as painful as ever. How did he get to this point? How had he overcome the countless urges to end all of it? Surely it wasn't what his father would've wanted him to become. So he enlisted in the military, to strive to become as great of a man and warrior as he was. But he hadn't. He _didn't_ want to burden his entire family, his country even. After his father's death, he felt because he had failed the ascension and because his father had to jump in front of him that he was useless and would always disappoint and burden everyone around him.

"I'm ... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have brought it up," Fayt immediately got up and looked at Albel who didn't really want to do the same.

Albel shook his head over and over. It was hard to control himself at this point, to keep up that hard cold exterior, but now he appeared to be more vulnerable, panicked even. Almost on the verge of breaking. If anyone else had asked him such a question he would have gotten angry for sure, but brushing it off and throwing a wild insult at the offender would be necessary. But this was different.

The boy had reached his hand into his chest and jumbled everything up. The pieces were fine where they were, albeit jagged, broken, and unfittingly joined.

How could they ever be mended?

 


End file.
